


I Wanna Be Like You

by Niji_Hitomi_Iscariot



Category: Bleach
Genre: Dancing and Singing, Humor, Other, Parody, Party, Songfic, mindfuckery, unwanted romantic attention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2013-08-08
Packaged: 2017-12-22 19:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/917285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niji_Hitomi_Iscariot/pseuds/Niji_Hitomi_Iscariot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Renji's acting strange, and Shiro goes to investigate. That's the LAST time he ever leaves Ichigo's mindscape!</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Wanna Be Like You

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Disney's The Jungle Book, the song quoted is "I Wanna Be Like You" with a few modifications to fit our favorite inner Hollow. Ja ne, minna!

"Hey, Ichigo?" Renji asked, walking next to the orangette after a captain's meeting with the Sotaicho.

Said Visored tilted his head to look at his crimson-haired friend. "Hm?"

"Do you hear drums?" Tattooed eyebrows drew together in confusion that the orange across from him mimicked.

"No. Why?" The both of them stopped, and Ichigo stared at Renji like he'd grown a second ponytail.

Under the scrutiny of his friend, the vice-captain of the Sixth looked away embarrassed. "Uh, no…no reason." He chewed the inside of his cheek and moved off and away from the other.

Ichigo watched him walk away, now as curious as he was confused. Renji unconsciously bounced to a beat only he could hear, and it looked suspiciously like a jazz rhythm. Maybe Zabimaru had something to do with it? ' _Hey, Shiro, check it out?_ '

_Sure, King._  Came the immediate response and the albino disappeared from his mindscape.

The orangette didn't know how right he was as at that moment within the redhead's mindscape, the baboon half of the Zanpakutou was bouncing to the same beat as her wielder. The Hollow appeared in front of her, and she smiled in a predatory way.

"Now I'm the queen of the swingers. Oh! The jungle VIP! I've reached the top and had to stop, and that's what's been botherin' me. I wanna be a Hollow, white boy, and stroll right into town, and be just like the other souls. I'm tired of monkeyin' around!" She danced up to the snowtop and grinned, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Hey there, pretty boy!"

"Uh…?" Shiro raised an eyebrow, angling away from the simian woman. A movement to his other side caught his eye, and turning head, he saw the snake-boy half of the Zanpakutou slither past in time to the jungle drums, guitar and horns that were echoing through the fukutaicho's mindscape.

"I wanna be like you. I wanna talk like you, talk like you, too. You see it's true, someone like me can learn to be like someone like you." The white reptile crooned.

Once again looking nervous, the albino Hollow focused back on Chimpette. "Uh…?"

"What'sa matter, Hollow? Too much woman for you to handle?" She flashed her teeth, and pressed her breasts against his shoulder. Then started singing again, "Now here's your part of the deal, cuz, lay the secret on me of Hollow fire."

"Hollow fire? I don't know how to do that!" Shiro protested.

"Now don't try to kid me, white boy, I made a deal with you. What I desire is Hollow's fire to make my dream come true. Now, give me the secret, white boy. Clue me what to do. Give me the power of Hollow's flower, so I can be like you." The whole time she made him bounce around and swing to the beat. Snakey shimmied past repeating what he said before like he was a record stuck in a groove.

Looking around the mindscape at the increase in horn sounds, Shiro tried not to let the fear and confusion radiating from him show on his face. Ringing the open area were other Zanpakutou spirits. Ashisogi Jizo fluttered about shaking a maraca. Benihime swirled Minazuki, in her human form, around the floor off to the side. Hozukimaru, and Tenken pounded on tribal drums. The twins of Sogyo no Kotowari swung from the vines around the ruined temple-style dance floor. The wakizashi of Katen Kyokotsu strummed a guitar of some kind, and her other half gently nodded her head in time to the beat. Kinshara and Tengumaru were perched near her, behind the wakizashi. Hyourinmaru played a horn made of ice, and Tachikaze directed his wind through a set up designed to vibrate at odd times. Deliberately sitting off to the side Suzumebachi, Ryuujin Jakka, and Gonryumaru absolutely refused to be drawn into the revelry, much to Shinsou's displeasure, as the fox-like spirit was chained to the fire bird. Next to him, Kyoka Suigetsu attempted to enjoy a cup of tea, but Suzumushi was chirping in time to the music, making her delicate eyebrow twitch.

Just as Shiro was about to call out to someone to give him a hand, a conga line, led by Sakanade, brought Pantera, Santa Teresa, the triplets Los Lobos, Tiburon, Murcielago, Ira, Arrogante, Gamuza, Trepdora, Brujeria, Glotoneria, and Fornicaras along in front of the albino. Some were more enthusiastic about it than others, but none had a choice in the matter as all fourteen were chained together. A loud shout drew Shiro's attention to the end of the line, where Engetsu, father of Zangetsu, was wildly flailing about dancing and pushing the line to follow Sakanade around the stone floor. This brought another half hidden shiver from the Hollow, and he tried to escape the clutches of Chimpette.

He almost got away to a far distant corner, where he'd seen the other "Shiro's", the other Vioreds' inner Hollows, hanging about trying NOT to be drawn into dancing with the Bankai-capable sword spirits. No such luck however, as the female simian sang more of her strange song.

"I wanna be like you. I wanna talk like you, talk like you, too. You see it's true, someone like me can learn to be like someone like you." She and Snake circled him, chanting in jibberish, and repeating themselves.

Out of the crowd, what really threw him for a loop, the oddly over-dressed samurai form of Senbonzakura wailed on the trumpet above it all, bringing the musicians to a crescendo. The pair that were Zabimaru did their circle-thing, bouncing up to where some of the other spirits were dancing, which left Shiro able to back away.

He felt another hand on his shoulder, and almost jumped out of his skin when he spun around to find Zangetsu with an urgent look on his face. The albino nodded and the two faded away from Renji's jungle-like mindscape.

"Oh, sweet sideways skyscrapers, I never thought I'd see you again." Shiro flung himself onto the blue glass with a cry of relief. "Damn Pineapple, what the hell were his spirits going on about? And those others, why the hell were they there? And the Hollows. My brothers and sisters. They did nothing to help me! The OLD MAN WAS THERE! AUGH!" He ranted for another few minutes before being cut off by Zangetsu's deep voice.

"Shirosaki, why are you wearing a loin cloth?"


End file.
